Chris's blog

There is a tip cup that sits near the debit keypad. When I was being trained, I asked why a clerk would need a tip cup. The girl training me said that she thought it was crazy too. When she took it away, people asked where the tip cup was. I usually end up spending my tip on soda and food during my shift anyways.

Some of you motherfuckers out there think you are witty, clever, suave and other awesome things when you are drunk. You are not. The server is not impressed by the pick up line you just yelled at her, the bar backs are not impressed by your ability to bump into things and not feel pain until tomorrow, and the liquor store clerk is annoyed that you can't sign the credit card slip without requiring help writing your name.

Sometimes people come in to the liquor store and want to buy something they don't have money for.

"Hey bro, I'm short ten cents for that blunt. Can you spot me?"
"No."
"Oh ok."

Last night I met one of the worst people alive.

Her face was battered with acne scars and craters.Framing her head was hair fried, bleached and teased into a stringy mess. Her figure bubbled into lumps which were quite visible beneath her see through halter top. Her skin was pale and dry. The ugliness was not just a physical feature, it seethed and churned from her personality too.

For some odd reason, customers introduce themselves to me and shake my hand. The introductions are mostly in vain because I forget who they are instantly.

Shopping is a precarious adventure that has many perils and rewards. At the end of every shopping trip is the checkout line where a clerk being paid minimum wage silently judges you based on your purchases. What a person buys at a store is very telling of who they are, what they do for a living, their family life, personality traits, etc.

Scratch-offs and lottery tickets are popular items. The prizes are so big that people don't really consider things like the odds of actually winning. Of course, statistics mean shit to the person who just won $90 million in the lottery. Some customers spend twenty dollars a week on tickets. In a year, they have spent $1040, which is kind of a lot of money.

There is no bathroom in the liquor store, so I piss in the bathroom at the bar. The bar is the source for almost all of the drunks that come into the store. On the way to relieve myself of "urine", a drunk guy tried his best to walk to the bartender. He was so drunk that he couldn't walk straight, so he shuffled his feet in tiny 3 inch steps. He looked straight forward with eyes almost completely closed, arms half raised. The whole thing reminded me of a zombie from Night of the Living Dead.

Her hand wrapped around the straps oh her leather Coach bag. She slowly stalked each aisle, vacantly staring at every bottle in her view. She had on expensive jeans that didn't quite fit as well as she thought they did.

This is gonna take awhile